Let’s take a moment to appreciate the imagination of Internet comment-spam. All of this stuff is genuine (unfortunately), taken from WordPress comments here.
Most netbooks taste perfectly normal
From: Susan Christian
Submitted: 2010/05/07 at 7:12 pm
Regarding: iPod Touch Software 2.0
I want to buy a netbook with a touch screen. It should be a little bit bigger as the iPad and must have a normal tastatur. Can you help me?
I wonder what the ‘tastatur’ even means. Checking from the dictionary, the closest proper word seems to be ‘testator‘, which apparently means “One who has made a legally valid will before death.”. Let’s just assume that the spam-poster misspelled “taste”, because it’s a bit funnier. Still, I don’t believe I can be much of an service here.
The council of networking colleagues
From: Travel Deals to Paris
Submitted: 2010/05/11 at 8:14 am
Regarding: Asus WL-500W Wireless Router
I recently had a new computer with windows 7 that came with a free trial of Microsoft Office. The trial has a few weeks left before I have to purchase the full lisence. Someone has told me about a free download alternative called Open Office and I wondered if anyone of my 4 networking colleagues had any experience of it?
A question best left to your “four networking colleagues”, which actually sounds like a great company name.
PS3 doing not so well on the game-front
From: Eldon Sether
Submitted: 2010/05/13 at 8:39 pm
Regarding: X-Arcade
I downloaded Gears of War a couple of weeks ago and, even though its a”dusty” game, its the best PS3 game in my opinion
Gears of War is the best game on PS3 despite the fact that you can’t play it since it’s an Xbox-only game? Not sure if this means that GoW is utterly awesome or that Sony needs to crank up PS3 game production asap. Foolishness or clever critique? Can’t decide, spam-man.
I am not worthy
From: Jason Ecton
Submitted: 2010/05/27 at 8:10 pm
Regarding: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Considerably, the post is in reality the sweetest on this deserving topic. I agree with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your next updates. Just saying thanks will not just be adequate, for the extraordinary lucidity in your writing. I will at once grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates. Fabulous work and much success in your business dealings!
I am humbled by your ass-kissing abilities, spammer. I was actually a bit tempted to approve this comment.
From the land of unnecessary details
From: Jaimee Klice
Submitted: 2010/06/10 at 10:49 pm
Regarding: Asus WL-500W Wireless Router
I found your site on yahoo and thought I would drop by and say hey. I like the way your blog is set up. I¡¯ll come back later. I have to go walk my dog right now and take them to potty.
Intriguing. Can’t wait to hear what happens next. Perhaps the spammer goes to check his/her mail? Damn the suspense.
Thanks, tenant
From: Earnest Finch
Submitted: 2010/06/23 at 11:56 am
Regarding: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Landlord’s post is written wonderful. Writes fluent, rhetorical appropriateness
Finally the nickname “Landlord” is gaining some momentum.
They stopped making games after 2008
From: Micah Miles
Submitted: 2010/07/02 at 8:43 am
Regarding: Thoughts on Wii
According to me the best game is FIFA 08 ,anyone have a suggestion of a similar game?. I have a XBOX 360
FIFA 08 is so unlike any other games, so this is a difficult one. I would recommend FIFA’s 09 – > infinity, but I’m really grasping at straws here. This would have to be “according to me” also.
So deep
From: GSX-R750 guy
Submitted: 2010/07/15 at 1:13 am
Regarding: Technological breakdown
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
Sent from my iPhone 4G
I just love haiku-like spam. Also, can’t get over the fact that this bastard has iPhone 4G. Apple employees have been on a drinking binge again and losing their prototypes.
Hey, that’s nice!
From: Beau Thacker
Submitted: 2010/09/25 at 7:36 am
Regarding: Xbox 360
Congratulations from one genius to one other.
Ditto.
You got me there
From: Mrs. Anti-Virus
Submitted: 2010/08/15 at 10:20 am
Regarding: Syksymmällä
I bet you wish george bush was still president now
This is so random that I have to give high marks for originality. Like the nickname as well.
Actually, I’m getting high amounts of useless traffic
From: Porsche Tricarico
Submitted: 2010/09/07 at 7:06 pm
Regarding: X-Arcade
Fed up with getting low amounts of useless traffic for your site? Well i want to inform you of a brand new underground tactic that produces me personally $900 every day on 100% AUTOPILOT. I possibly could be here all day and going into detail but why dont you just check their website out? There is really a great video that explains everything. So if your serious about making hassle-free hard cash this is the site for you. Auto Traffic Avalanche
I bet it produces you $900 for every poor fool you manage to sign up. Change the name, though. Auto Traffic Avalance sounds like a fancy name for commuter traffic.
As did I…
From: Andrew A. Sailer
Submitted: 2011/04/11 at 6:40 am
Regarding: NHL 2003
Oh! Darn it! I almost forgot about the Easter Sunday Dance Presentation
Holy crap, thanks for the reminder!
All right, all this spam is making me sleepy and it’s time to call it a day. Fear not: there’s plenty more from where that came from.
